I stopped when I reached the seclusion of the trees to look back at Chai. She probably knew I was looking at her. She refused to turn around digging her feet into the wet sand as if it were the only thing that would hold her up. The sun bowed curtsey to the moon and slowly disappeared under its shimmering blanket. The rain and winds picked up hoarsly whispering their secrets the the earth and everything on it. She seemed to relax in it staring and the small ripples in the waters that gently crept up the beach. Somewhere out over the ocean thunder rolled around in the dark clouds and she broke. She fell back into her seat on the rock. She promised...At first I began walking to toward her but stopped short. I lied to her. She wasn't the last person I was seeing. I never mentioned how I was getting to the airport.
   I stared down in disappointment as I turned and walked away and silently said "Adieu."
   The walk home wasn't long but it felt like forever. Though I felt comfortable in the cold rain that kissed my face, I was glad it stopped. I had to leave like this so completely drenched would be bad. My mind wandered and I stared at my shadow gliding before me. It felt like death where my life flashed before my eyes. I saw everything that led up to this day...everything that was pushing me away and everything that drew me to New York. I had to keep telling myself that what I decided was a good choice. That moving would be better, I could start fresh. No matter how much I tried to convince myself there were always the haunting questions regarding my choice. The evil pleading voices of the dear friends who desired my staying echoed in my mind. I quickly flushed them out. If I wanted to leave with composure I couldn't think of things like that. It's hard to leave behind what I was leaving; an entire life. I told Chai I understood. I did, that being the reason I couldn't have thoughts of my friends or family right now. A small tear rolled now my cheek, I quickly brushed it away with my sleeve. I looked up and realised I was passing my house. I refused to call it home. It stopped being home a long time ago. I frowned. The truth hurts. I walked in through the gateway and continued towards the porch. No point in closing the gate. No one was coming back. The "For Sale" sign creaked in the wind as I passed it. I didn't need to look at it. For some horrible reason it was imprinted into my memory. I suppose my mother decided with me gone and my brother already with one foot out the door there wasn't really a reason for living in the house anymore. I walked up the stairs and took my last seat on the porch swing. Slowly I swung myself back and forth letting all my memories of this place flood me. I didn't cry, no reason to but I was still overcome with this emotion that ate at me. I couldn't figure it out. This place, this neighbourhood had been my home ever since I was born. But every neighbourhood has its share of dark secrets and bad apples. This place seemed to be the source of everything bad. The old grandfather clock gonged within the house. I glanced at my watch. Eight thirty. Ree was going to pick me up at nine thirty. Odd, refused to have any of my family see me go. Then again I wasn't one for emotional gatherings' if one should occur but the awkward goodbyes with my family occurred earlier today before they lead the mover's van to the new house. I was invited to go with them but I turned them down. Leaving them tore right through me but I had to grin and bear this. With a heavy sigh I rose and went inside closing the door softly behind me. The key lay right on the mantel where I left it before meeting Chai. The realtor would find it. The house was dark and empty. They didn't leave anything. I walked past my bags which lay on the ground by the mantel and sat lengthways on one of the lower steps, my hand resting on the one above to prop my head. In the deafening silence I tried to sort out my emotions. I felt like a child lost in a Manhattan crowd or a raindrop in the storm. I was confused, nothing made sense. Somewhere in my thoughts, I drifted to sleep. The child and the girl re-appeared in my dreams. I took them as signs that my decision was right.
   I awoke to what was supposed to be a light knock on the door. In the silence it sounded louder.
   "Jav?" It was Ree.
   I shook off the sleepy feeling and opened the door.
   "Hey, sorry I fell asleep, could you grab this for me?" I asked beckoning to my laptop bag.
   "Sure," she said nonchalantly taking it and quickly swinging it over her shoulder. We didn't make eye contact. She smiled a bit but I could tell she was sad. She was wasn't she?
   I pretended not to pay too close attention and turned to look over the interior of the house while grabbing hold of the suitcase. Right then ghostly mixed visions of my memories came forth. I saw myself running around with my brother. I saw mom cooking in the kitchen and then playing a stupid board game with dad. I heard the faint laughter of the pool party I had out back with my closest friends. Then, I heard the fighting and the shadows cast by the moonlight seemed to stretch and overcome me with the dark recollections.
   Ree placed her hand on my shoulder and gently pressed her fingers down. I blinked, coming out of the trance and turned to face her. Aside from Chai, she was probably the only other one that knew everything and understood so well. I was thankful I met her. I gave her a crooked smile and my eyes watered. Her hand slid down my shoulder to clasp with mine and she firmly said, "Come on, you can't stay here any longer."
   She understood. I broke the tense eye contact and followed her out to the truck. I whispered a thank you to her.
   The drive to the airport unlike my walk home, ended unusually fast. I was beginning to think Father Time had it out for me. Little to nothing was said on the way.
   She took a seat while I checked in. After that I went over to her. She looked up then pat the seat next to her. I took my seat. It was awkward. At first we said nothing.
   "Well.." she mustered.
   "Yeah..So I'm finally leaving," I choked out.
   "This is a good thing remember that. You'll be happy," she said.
   "Thanks..." Lost my wording again.
   "I'm going to take off ok?" she said standing up. She understood. I smiled slightly standing up. Our eyes met and I hugged her tightly. "I'll see you soon bro."
   "Yeah, I'll call or something..." my voice trailed off.
   We broke the embrace and she began to walk away. I took my seat once again watching her leave. Before she walked out the automatic doors she stopped and smiled at me then left.
   An hour later I was strapped in my seat on the plane ready for take-off. As the plane finally rose into the air I surveyed the glistening city. Then like a door to my life, I pulled down the shade, ready to push it back up when the door to my new life unlocked.
   I thought about Chai, and the things she said. There'll come the time when I return either alone or with the dreamed child I told her about. Or the day when I visited in Ontario or Toronto or when she visited in New York and we'd discuss the promised conversation over waffles. The fabled blue streaks and lack of glasses I'll look forward to. Point is, this wasn't the end. I don't believe in endings, there are only new beginnings. I'll see them all again...